Cluttered Box

The One Question 

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on my blog – and I’m not making any promises or apologies for that in this post (there are faaaaar too many of those on this blog already!) but it just feel like the right time to be writing this post. This year has been a different one for me so far – events I couldn’t even conceive have happened and it’s been tough, to say the least. I’ve experienced a huge loss, one of the biggest in my adult life, and I’ve also had the best moments of my twenties this year – it’s been a roller coaster in the true sense of the word, and I’m keen to share why and how I’ve coped with this to help anyone going through something similar. 

All my life, I have planned every step and decision, making calculated moves and never really taking a risk that could lead to instability or failure. The one big step I took was to move to London for a job while not knowing many people there, but then again – I had the support of my parents and I already had a job to go to – wasn’t a complete risk. Having been here for 3 years now, I know that I just slipped into this comfort zone and of course, that is why I have been quite uninspired. 

But then early summer this year, one of my family members suffering from cancer ended up in the hospital with their days being numbered. This experience in itself felt like an out of body one – almost like being in auto-pilot. It was work, hospital, home – repeat for weeks. Being in that environment of a cancer ward and around people suffering, I realised something quite obvious – it isn’t about what PowerPoint you created and presented, it’s also not about how annoying that girl in the office is – it’s all about being happy and being with the people that love you. It’s an obvious realisation, but if like me, you live in this fast-paced bubble like London, it’s easy to let these little, petty things become the biggest problems in the world for yourself. I saw these strangers in the cancer ward, their suffering and their determination to keep going, and all my issues became obsolete because worrying about paying a the water bill is probably a problem any of those people would love to have. My problems were so materialistic and solvable, that I couldn’t even comprehend why I was focusing in them in the first place – and just like that, I knew the one question to ask yourself when having a crisis like that: WILL THIS MATTER IN 6 MONTHS? 

The answer to almost every problem/stress/worry I has was NOPE. Probably because we are often so fortunate that we forget the greatest gift of our life – friends, family and health. So I’ve taken this attitude forward, and while this time has been so difficult for my family and me, we are powering through and focusing on being stronger together. It’s not about the job you have, or the worry about someone talking about you – it’s really about realising what matters. I’m 27 now and I feel elated to have this realisation, but it’s helped me massively. It’s like take a camera and refocusing the lens – finding that in your last days on earth, you won’t remember that deadline you missed or the manager who treated you unfairly, but the people who helped you through the time and that supported you. It’s the people you surround yourself that matter, not the events that you go through. 

So that’s all folks – my little lesson on life and a little wisdom to share – even if it helps just 1 person.

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