It has finally happened and I could not be happier – I have gotten over university and finally decided to move on with life. While it has been a long overdue decision, it took a veeeeery long time to actually approach this conclusion. Why you may ask – well the answer is simple: I realized that life keeps getting better despite the fact that university life was the highlight of it.
It has taken me roughly a year and a half to reach this state of mind, and boy am I relieved. I didn’t want to be on of those people who are obsessed with one part of their life. University was, metaphorically, a love of my life. It was a contracted love since it lasted 3 years, i.e. we both knew it would end in June 2011. When it finally did, I kicked, screamed, clung to the library shelves and bought all the possible memorabilia I possibly could – slowly but surely, our love ended.
Post June 2011, I was depressed, nostalgic and angry that I had to enter the world of working. I thought I was too young and just didn’t want to have the routine for the rest of my life set in stone. I landed my first job a month after graduation amidst tears and a confused state of mind. The only word that can describe what happened after that is: DENIAL
I became one of the obsessive girlfriends who stalk their ex. I would check out the university website regularly, look at pictures from time spent there and every song seemed to remind me of that time. It was horrible because I was not able to give 100% to the job I was committed to – I saw it as a way to pass time and reminisce the old times.
Granted that fact that I was only 21, I needed a reality check. No one sufficed and this destructive behavior went on for quite some time. During the past 18 months, I visited my university town twice and tried to make things the way they used to be – something that is virtually impossible since everyone I knew had left. That was the first sign.
To be honest, that period of my life is so appealing to me since there were no responsibilities no worries and I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted. If I felt like pulling an all-nighter, I would – there was no fear of falling asleep at work the next day! Personally, I just loved studying, the experience of learning and actually expanding my mind gave me a thrill that is unlike other. I didn’t want anything to end that, and in my mind, working would be the end of learning and growing.
On top of that, I didn’t have bills to pay, projects to deliver to clients and the burden of being an adult. It was the carefree aspect of life and learning that held all the attraction for me. Finally (last night), I came to realize that I wouldn’t trade what I have now to go back to university. Yes, it was incredibly fun – but it came at it’s price, all those group works, the studying, exams and coursework Without realizing it, I have come to enjoy working life, I have a job that I love (surprise, surprise), colleagues who make everyday fun and lastly, money (something that students only have occasionally). I have been resistant to this change from student to adult because it entailed a lot of compromise and ‘new-ness’, but as a person who has been through it, I can say that it gets better and the learning process never ends!