Cluttered Box

Let’s Just Be Honest

fakeAs a strong believer of speaking your mind, I’m an honest person. I say what I think and prefer to be surrounded by people who are similar. But this is not always the case, there have been numerous occasions on which I have been in the midst of people-pleasers who take on fake personalities around specific individuals. Whenever I am in such a situation, I can’t help but think: Why are you doing this?! At times like those, I want to just speak my mind and straight out ask for the reason of this unreasonable behavior.

…but I don’t – thus becoming a part of this strange yet miserable paradox. You don’t follow? An example will help: At a work  dinner, X colleague is engaged in discussing the awful dress choice of Y colleague. Y colleague happens to be the supervisor. After spending 20 minutes deconstructing every aspect of Y colleagues dress, X colleague voluntarily goes over and compliments Y’s dress. To me, this is the perfect example where I would like to confront X colleague and tell Y colleague to snap out of it. However, this is the exact moment where I need to bite my tongue and get on with life… knowing that X hates Y, Y loves X and I am stuck with this unnecessary guilt over it.

Not working for you? Here is another simple example: Q is someone who thrives on gossip. P opens up to Q about her personal problems. Q sympathizes and gives really good advice… but the moment she gets away, Q runs to someone else to spread the new ‘goss’. This situation has been repeated in front of me many times, and most of the times P has held the highest opinion of Q, insisting on believing the best in those kind of people.

Forgive me if I lost you during the course of that example, but congratulations if you followed through! This situation has happened to me a couple of times, and I just want to get out of it. Where has the genuine feeling of being nice to someone gone to? Apparently, backbiting and lying has become an increasingly important part of our lives that it has become almost impossible to part with.


Well, I am calling it on being fake. It is mean, unnecessary and just plain stupid. Whether you are studying, working or travelling, you are bound to face people who are incapable of being honest – so carefully pick who you choose to be friends with and who to keep at arms length.


8 thoughts on “Let’s Just Be Honest

  1. I know exactly what you feel hun. This type of situation happens all the time, especially in the virtual world. I used to ask myself this before why people do such things, etc until one day I stopped, otherwise my hair would turn all gray from over thinking hahha. Some just can’t help but kiss someone’s butt and then stab them from behind lol. It’s a sad reality but some people will always take advantage when they see an opportunity for themselves even if it means pretending to like the people they hate. I always ask those who I think that are close to me to just be honest with me, and you can tell if they are or they just want brownie points, by that time, I would start keeping my distance from them. 🙂


    • It truly is saddening. I wish people would use their negative energy in a creative way rather than scheme and be fake.It is such a shame! I agree, learning how to keep your distance is the key – no matter how sweet the person appears, we just have to learn how to spot fakers and keep them out of the friend zone. Thanks for your insight 🙂


  2. It’s sad that this happens every day all the time. It would be nice to be yourself and let it go in front of people but if you don’t want be an easy target to these people then you just can’t. It’s awful how the nicest person is usually the one who stabs you in your back 😦 When I was younger I thought everyone was my friend and got burned so many times, now I belive that no-one is my friend, no matter how big is the smile on their face, no matter how interested they seem. 😦


    • I understand your feelings completely. As kids, we learn to trust easily and let our guard down in front of people – making ourselves vulnerable… and as adults this works to our disadvantage. It just seems easier to keep your distance and only make an exception for people who seem truly genuine. I hope that you find some good friends since it is really a sad thing not to find people who pick you up when you are down. Just learn how to pick them wisely and I’m sure they won’t hurt you! 🙂


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